Wow, loooong time no write…Sorry. The past two weeks have been unimaginably crappy. School has tormented me more than ever, an exam has been failed once more (it wasn’t exactly a surprise) and I’ve had two very emotionally-consuming events. I shall tell you all about them.
First came the heart break. A horrific change in one of the most important relationships in my life. Coming right after my love and my friendships is the connection with my iPod. Yes, that’s right, my music device, my giver of rhythm, the carrier of the soundtrack of my life. My god damned bastard of an iPod which I’ve had for 2 years. Which I have loved, cherished, taken care of as if it were a living creature. And one day, conveniently right before the damned gore fest of an exam I just mentioned, I plug it into my comp, so I may charge it with the use of the whore that is iTunes (I hate iTunes so much, in my book, it is worse than C, C++, Java and every programming software in existence; iTunes is for me what Satan is for religious fanatics: the ultimate evil!). Somehow, strangely, it does not function. Some stupid error, self-eject and a big _|_ to me. Confused, irritated, I repeat the process. iTunes is just stupid, right? Wrong. Well, right, but it wasn’t the reason. Something was definitely amiss with the iPod itself. I tried to reset it in every way possible, cos I am not a retard. I even jammed a needle in the reset hole. The damned thing not only would not reset, but now it just played its damned Apple logo on repeat, pulsing with annoying gray light. Over and over.
I head over to my mum and I complain. She tries to make me understand that maybe it is time to get a new one. I start screaming. 2 years? 2 years and that’s it? No. No, I will never accept that kind of treatment. Not after I put my soul into it. Not after I basically built every activity around music and listening to my favourite songs. No. I left the room, cursing of all the Gods of above and below, invoking the Furies and crying. Yes, tears came and I was crying. This was the ultimate betrayal. As a note, I tend to get extremely attached to my technology stuff. I do not believe in the concept of consumer products. Sure, okay, they are accessible to anyone and you can get them anywhere and they are not built to last forever. But WTF? You still pay for them. And they are not cheap, my friends, and you know it. Especially Apple’s crap is not cheap. Now, I hate the iPhone, the stupid white comps we use in school, and especially the damned iTampon (you know I’m talking about za pad) which is more than useless. But my iPod was different. It was perfect. It was…mine! And it held so many songs, and we had been together through so much. I got it when I turned 18. It saved me from boredom during long walks to extra classes in the 12th grade. I graduated with it. I listened to some songs even as my mum drove me to the end of highschool exams. For a long time I had my ex’s pics on it, and I felt like he was there with me, although he lived across the ocean. Are you effing kidding me? My entire life was related to that iPod! It wasn’t an mp3 player. It was so much more, because I considered it that much more. Not because Apple wants more money than the world can produce. But because I would have done anything for it.
So what happened? I went to my mum’s room and as she was trying to comfort me, I smashed it a wall. Almost broke the damned thing. And when I say “damned thing” I mean my mum’s wall. The bastard iPod fell under the bed and when I pulled it out, hoping it was busted in two, it was still very much intact, still looping the retarded logo (why an apple? why?) and it was more scratched by the constant pull-push in and out of my pockets. It was STILL alive. WTF? I can’t even destroy you? What are you?
My mum confiscated it before I killed someone with it and she asked a colleague at work to fix it. I was still crying, very much numb and dead inside, with a broken heart and a crushed soul. Yes, my iPod broke my heart. I was already researching other brands, ignoring the $149 shiny new models on the Apple store. $149 of pain, suffering, lies and iTunes. Always the damned iTunes…So I was looking for Sony or Philips. Because I don’t have to sell one kidney, one lung, half a heart and my SOUL to get one. Because Sony invented the concept of portable music. Because I simply needed to tear myself away from the iPod and all its false promises. Because both Sony and Philips offered a 2-year warranty. Because it had cheated on me, like an unfaithful lover. I needed to cheat on it in order to get closure. I needed to be vengeful, cold and more of a bitch than usual.
I had decided on one, but something in me (the weakness) made me wait. My mum’s colleague promised to work on it on Monday. I had no faith in the busted-up piece of crap I saw it as. I was still pissed off at not being able to break it and I had decided that after getting it back with a “Sorry, it is just not possible to fix it”, I would get my closure alright. By wrecking it. I had devised the perfect revenge plan:
1. Soak it in the tub (cos the manual says no exposure to water)
2. Put it in the freezer (no extreme temperatures)
3. Introduce it to the good ol’ hammer (because iPod should never be smashed)
With tears in my eyes, I would record this and post it on YouTube. Not as an anti-Apple movie. I am confident a sufficient number of normal people despise them anyway. No. So I could feel better. So I could get on to enjoying my iTunes-free mp3 player from Sony/Philips.
But come Monday, and I get a surprise. My iPod is back and it is fixed. Well, barely. I had just taken out my poor, ancient, obsolete mp3 player that had been asleep for the past 2 years and I was placing a possibly damaged re-charged battery in it, when my mum comes back and hands me my toy back. Working. Not without damage, of course. Apparently, my mum’s colleague is a tech genius. I consider him to be. And a life-saver. He did not save MY life, but he definitely saved the device’s life.
So what is my status now? I am still using the iPod. It’s not like it was, but it’s manageable. My playlists are ruined, but I will probably fix that when I can gather the courage to use iTunes for plugging and organizing again. Until then, I shall use a universal charger. My drama should not be underestimated. Just Google or YouTube this. Hundreds/thousands of angry iPod owners, complaining about short lives, big bugs, iTunes ball and chain, bad service, etc etc. This kind of music player was revolutionary at some point. But over-estimated, over-priced, over-loved due more to its design than its quality. Sad. Really sad. I intend to continue to use it until it gives up on me completely. Because I can’t go on for days without music and I cannot simply throw it away or destroy it now that it is functional again. I will once it dies without the possibility of resurrection. Until then…well…at least I can still rock to the soundtrack of my life, despite having sold my soul to Apple…
As for the second half of my tormented week…oh, where to start? Talk about nervous breakdown. Caused NOT by a lab test I took (and passed with a fabulous grade I would never have expected considering I SUCK at school) on Thursday, but because of the accumulated stress of the stupid exam I will NEVER pass, the oncoming Easter holiday which will be only the last oasis of peace before the true onslaught of the second semester cometh, and constant frustration caused by the continued lameness of teachers at school. I just couldn’t cope with it for a few hours and I broke down, and it made Hiroshima look like a Winnie the Pooh tea party. That, plus a major fight with my precious almost led to me burning down the town. I was that angry. And then I was sad. I was heart broken, and this is not like the iPod incident. I was devastated and wrecked and I could not let the day end like that. Luckily, my BF is the most wonderful human being alive and we worked things out. I don’t know how he finds the energy and willpower to handle someone like me, but I thank all the forces of the known and unknown Universe for that. I know you’ll read this, so I will just say that I love you so so so much, precious, and sorry.
Right now, I am simply exhausted. There is no other word that could describe my state better. I am tired, having had the worst nights of the semester so far. I am devoid of anger, but also of any energy. I am, however, looking forward to going to the Opera with my sweet friends on Sunday. I even got a hair cut for that occasion and it’s a big deal cos I HATE getting hair cuts. I hate going to beauty salons and asking for one, cos I can never really decide what I want and I end up getting the same crap done. Crap which looks good but is not worth the money I pay. Crap that is barely visible after 2 weeks (my hair is THAT hardcore and I love it). But this time, it was all highly successful. The hairdresser was awesome. She got the bangs right, the length and she ever curled it a little bit. I effing adore it! Best haircut in years! I am so doing this look again. I might even consider making it permanent, but I’ll see…
Ah well. All things, both good and bad, eventually come to an end. I will go now, and laugh my ass off while watching a Hitler parody on YouTube. Apparently, Hitler doesn’t like the iPad very much…After that I will probably check out my favourite sxephil (YouTube god of “news” and social commentary), and then just chill and freeload. It’s Friday, after all, and today, the world just doesn’t suck as much as usually. For my dear Andy and Peter, good luck with the exams from hell, I hope you kick ass! To the rest of you, all my love.
